Monday 7 January 2013

Are porn and games ruining men?


Video Games and Porn are Destroying Society (again)



Guess what. Porn and video games are ruining guys again. So say Dr. Philip G. Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan in their extremely knowledgeable article 'The Demise of Guys: How video games and porn are ruining a generation’. Don’t know if Nikita is as qualified as the good doctor but according to CNN you should probably listen to them both.
                So what is it exactly that video games and porn are doing? Well dear readers it’s making us socially isolated. We can no longer strike up conversations with ladies. And I should know I tried to talk to girl about which Zelda was better the SNES classic ‘Link to the Past’ or the 64 classic ‘Ocarina of Time.’ When she looked at me awkward I ate a mushroom, threw a turtle shell at her and yelled “Ninten-don’t look at me like that bitch!” And the only reason I called her a bitch is because of all the misogynistic porn I watch.
                Why is this happening? Why can’t I just talk to a girl about L’Oreal commercials and the new iPad 2 like a normal person? Well according to Dr. Zimbardo and the very qualified Duncan playing video games or watching porn instils in men a state of mental arousal comparable to drug addiction, gambling addiction etc. In essence it keeps us locked into ‘the present’ with no regard for outside stimulation. And when we do go outside, to buy more lube or whatever, we’re so God damned bored that all we want to do is go home, fap and get a couple of kills on Battlefield 3.
                And if social isolation and the inability to connect with another human being doesn’t put the fear in you just read this:
                 Norwegian mass murder suspect Anders Behring Breivik reported during his trial that he prepared his mind and body for his marksman-focused shooting of 77 people by playing "World of Warcraft" for a year and then "Call of Duty" for 16 hours a day.
                See guys, if we keep this shit up we’re going to decimate an island full of people. And I was raised on an island so I’m not too keen on that. Also CNN cites some guy called Adam whose wife kicked him out of the house for watching too much porn. So in essence what CNN is saying is: “look guys if you’ve got to do one of the two stick to the porn. Because porn saves lives.” I’m pretty sure that’s the message anyway.
                So just to be clear is it only porn and video games that are doing this? I mean it’s the twenty first century so obviously I’ve seen my share of money shots and dished out a fair helping of head shots. Should I be wary of movies? I saw The Avengers last week and totally wanted to be able to turn into a veiny-steroid-green-anger-machine. Is that because of the porn or the games? Also I was listening to Led Zeppelin’s ‘Stairway to Heaven’ backwards and I’m pretty sure I blacked out and painted a pentagram on the wall with my roommate’s blood. God damn you porn and video games!! That never would have happened if not for you!
                Or maybe, and I’m being a total armchair psychologist here (bit like Nikita Duncan) there’s something in our society that’s a little sick. I mean with all the debt that we owe, and I’m from Ireland so believe me I know a thing or two about owing debt, do we even have enough stuff in the world to pay it back? If the global economy is based on exponential growth but the world is based on finite substances something isn’t adding up. How about the fact that the world itself is a hugely unjust place where our leaders constantly lead us into trouble while lining their pockets? People get ahead in politics by acting like sharks and you think they’re going to stop when they get to the top? Let me know how that works out for you...
                When was the last time you saw a feel-good segment in the news? I was watching a story the other day about a zombie apocalypse. What to do if it happens. That’s not even a joke. That was actually on the news. The place we go for unbiased information. Or disinformation. Because you can’t even really trust the news. So should you really trust people? Because to be honest us people are making kind of a mess of this world. Maybe you’re better off yelling at some avatar from Paris while you launch air strikes down on him or looking up ‘German Mature Lesbo Bratwurst Sausage Massacre’. At least you know where you stand that way. Screw it, us guys should just let the women take over the world. We’ll stay inside in a state of perpetual bliss with extreme digital violence and interracial midget porn.
There’s just one problem...
What happens to the girls who play games and look at porn?   

No comments:

Post a Comment