Video Games and Porn are Destroying Society (again)
Guess what. Porn and video games are ruining guys again. So
say Dr. Philip G. Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan in their extremely knowledgeable
article 'The Demise of Guys: How video games and porn are ruining a generation’.
Don’t know if Nikita is as qualified as the good doctor but according to CNN
you should probably listen to them both.
So what
is it exactly that video games and porn are doing? Well dear readers it’s
making us socially isolated. We can no longer strike up conversations with
ladies. And I should know I tried to talk to girl about which Zelda was better
the SNES classic ‘Link to the Past’ or the 64 classic ‘Ocarina of Time.’ When
she looked at me awkward I ate a mushroom, threw a turtle shell at her and
yelled “Ninten-don’t look at me like that bitch!” And the only reason I called
her a bitch is because of all the misogynistic porn I watch.
Why is
this happening? Why can’t I just talk to a girl about L’Oreal commercials and
the new iPad 2 like a normal person? Well according to Dr. Zimbardo and the
very qualified Duncan playing video games or watching porn instils in men a
state of mental arousal comparable to drug addiction, gambling addiction etc.
In essence it keeps us locked into ‘the present’ with no regard for outside
stimulation. And when we do go outside, to buy more lube or whatever, we’re so
God damned bored that all we want to do is go home, fap and get a couple of
kills on Battlefield 3.
And if
social isolation and the inability to connect with another human being doesn’t
put the fear in you just read this:
Norwegian
mass murder suspect Anders Behring Breivik reported during his trial that he
prepared his mind and body for his marksman-focused shooting of 77 people by
playing "World of Warcraft" for a year and then "Call of
Duty" for 16 hours a day.
See guys, if we keep this
shit up we’re going to decimate an island full of people. And I was raised on
an island so I’m not too keen on that. Also CNN cites some guy called Adam whose
wife kicked him out of the house for watching too much porn. So in essence what
CNN is saying is: “look guys if you’ve got to do one of the two stick to the
porn. Because porn saves lives.” I’m pretty sure that’s the message anyway.
So just
to be clear is it only porn and video games that are doing this? I mean it’s
the twenty first century so obviously I’ve seen my share of money shots and
dished out a fair helping of head shots. Should I be wary of movies? I saw The
Avengers last week and totally wanted to be able to turn into a
veiny-steroid-green-anger-machine. Is that because of the porn or the games?
Also I was listening to Led Zeppelin’s ‘Stairway to Heaven’ backwards and I’m
pretty sure I blacked out and painted a pentagram on the wall with my roommate’s
blood. God damn you porn and video games!! That never would have happened if
not for you!
Or
maybe, and I’m being a total armchair psychologist here (bit like Nikita
Duncan) there’s something in our society that’s a little sick. I mean with all the
debt that we owe, and I’m from Ireland so believe me I know a thing or two
about owing debt, do we even have enough stuff in the world to pay it back? If
the global economy is based on exponential growth but the world is based on
finite substances something isn’t adding up. How about the fact that the world
itself is a hugely unjust place where our leaders constantly lead us into
trouble while lining their pockets? People get ahead in politics by acting like
sharks and you think they’re going to stop when they get to the top? Let me
know how that works out for you...
When
was the last time you saw a feel-good segment in the news? I was watching a
story the other day about a zombie apocalypse. What to do if it happens. That’s
not even a joke. That was actually on the news. The place we go for unbiased
information. Or disinformation. Because you can’t even really trust the news.
So should you really trust people? Because to be honest us people are making
kind of a mess of this world. Maybe you’re better off yelling at some avatar
from Paris while you launch air strikes down on him or looking up ‘German
Mature Lesbo Bratwurst Sausage Massacre’. At least you know where you stand
that way. Screw it, us guys should just let the women take over the world.
We’ll stay inside in a state of perpetual bliss with extreme digital violence
and interracial midget porn.
There’s just one problem...
What happens to the girls who play games and look at porn?
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