Sunday 14 June 2015

Alex's Journal 13/06

Uh hello, check two, testing... this thing on?


Alexandre (yeah the Frenchie version) O'Rourke here. Penning down my thoughts with the same kind of lucidity you'd expect from a half-asleep sloth. Figured I'd try and help some guy sell some book about me or something. Seriously, people will write about any old trash these days. I just read an article about how women with big thighs are plenty hot. Those actual words plenty and hot featuring in the title. First off this picture, which pretty much sums up the whole article in a j-peg:
A young arcade goers first love; the inimitable Chun Li
And second of all I wasted, like ten minutes, reading it and let's be honest what difference is the attractiveness of thighs going to make to my life?!

It's all down to those damn internets!

I remember when a server used to be the guy that gave you your drink in a hotel and if you wanted to be entertained you actively had to seek stuff out. But now it's like a big, kinetic strobe frenzy every time you turn on a computer. Flashy, flashy, cat video, flashy, flashy, fail video, flashy, flashy 'How would you like some dick pills?' Big brother is almost definitely watching you and god damn it if he doesn't have a whole bunch of wares he's itching to sell.

I remember buying 411VM VHS cassette tapes for like €20 just to watch an hour of skateboarding back when I was single digit (the phase did not last, imagine...). Thing was you'd watch that thing a trillion times* and it wouldn't even grate on you. Now we have this limitless database of information and we tend to use it to watch 7 second videos, talking dogs and Russian drivers mouthing off at each other.

And don't get me wrong, this isn't some kind of call to arms so everybody starts reading medical journals online, I'm as hypnotised as the next guy. But it did get me to thinking about how we're all building up this useless trivia with no real knowledge behind it. Can't remember exactly where I heard it but some guy recently said on the radio, or a podcast or something, that everyone in the whole world has information at the press of a button but we're all incredibly ignorant. Like Homer Simpson levels.

Where am I going with this?

I don't really know but to be fair you just read a poorly thought out stream-of consciousness-type article written by a fictitious character so...

Anyway weathers nice right now so even if you're full of information and ignorant as all hell (a la moi) why not go outside and try grab some vitamin D. 'Sides you're going to be as wisdom-less as the next guy so you may as well have a better tan.


*rough estimate

Monday 8 June 2015

Star Milligram

Just released my book Star Milligram on amazon. Head to www.starmilligram.blogspot.com for all the info you need